musings and expectations

i've always had mixed feelings about the new years resolution process. it just strikes me as another way to set ourselves up for failure. just as i believe that valentines day is a ruse (if you have to wait with bated breath for your lover to lavish you with attention on one corporate deemed day of the year, it's high time for some serious reassessment), so is saving up all of your motivation for one day of the year. when a relationship is thriving, you should never want for flowers, champagne, kind words and tokens of affection. those are things that should be incorporated to keep things alive on a regular basis. by the same token, if you're striving to live a balanced life, how can you pull it off in one day? if there's ever really hope for change, it has to be spread out in manageable bits all the year round.

if you haven't already, why not start a new valentines and new years resolution? make them days to check in on yourself. are you doing all you can to be the person you want to be? are you giving (and getting) everything you need to (and from) your relationships? why not? what little steps can you make on a daily basis to effect real change? what can you do NOW that you know you can incorporate into your lifestyle to be the best you, you know you can be?

think about it. keep it simple. make it happen. enough said.

l

as posted dec 2003:

Another year has rolled along and it's been my intention to post my list of New Year resolutions. As if having them out in the ether would somehow help them to manifest. Now that I've had days upon days to ruminate on said resolutions, I realize that I have none. Not a single one. What could that mean? That I've become so enlightened that there is in fact no need to start the new year with a clean slate? That I failed so miserably last year that I have no business starting on a new list? That I've become so complacent that I can't be bothered to think of ways my life could use improvement? Perhaps that I've reached a point where I've come to embrace that which I cannot change, and understanding that which can be changed, is a part of a constant evolution. Not just something to be thought of for the sake of making a list. I think I'll go with the latter. And with that, a list of that which I'd like to see continue to evolve and manifest.

One nod to New Year's Eve - it's high time to stock up on your bubbly! If you're running low, shop early and take advantage of holiday sales to restock your shelves for the New Year.

Cheers, everyone!

1. To live in integrity.
Sounds simple. In reality, not so simple. Contrary to what one may think, this has little to do with telling others the truth and much more to do with not lying to yourself. This, I assure you, is about as challenging as it gets. However, it does still have a great deal to do with being truthful, because let's face it, telling lies for the sake of telling people what they want to hear gets old in a hurry.

2. To be well.
Basically, to take care of myself. The reality is that I've reached a certain age where if you don't, the only person who suffers, is you. Even though I see the same girl I always have in the mirror every morning, now she has a few wrinkles and enough gray hair to warrant some very strategic highlights along with the $150 haircut. That means more yoga. Even the classes twice a week before work I hate to get up for but am always so thankful to have on the days I do. It means not being too lazy to take care of my skin, even when I'm so exhausted I think sleeping in my mascara will give me a leg up on the next morning. And it means knowing when to turn down the third cocktail party of the week because I need the sleep more than I need another martini.

3. To be content.
Another one that sounds simple and obvious. Not so much. I've learned that even when I have everything, it isn't enough. I always thought it was about what I didn't have and striving to fill in the blanks - a better husband, a better career, a nicer car, a better body, another pair of manolos. And quite simply, it's not. It comes from within, not from anyone or anything else, regardless of how much money you have to spend - which is so much easier said than done. It's actually a counter productive process where the more you acquire the more miserable you seem to be. If you're not continually working from the inside out, what's the point? It's about being mindful. Being grateful.