oh, the shame of it

as much as it pains me to admit this, i'm sad to see the oc go.

yeah, that's right. i tivo the oc. it's my guilty pleasure. aside from poking fun at the absurdities of teen angst and charmed life behind the orange curtain, its self-effacing wry sarcasm has some brilliant moments and you get some pretty darn good music to boot.

c'est la vie. good thing hbo's new season is starting to pick up.

speaking of things that pain me ... i put in a weenie 3-miler this week after a nearly nine month (and twenty pound) hiatus from running, and fuck me, i'm sore. i ran a marathon less than a year ago and now i'm struggling with a few miles? never mind my running shorts fit more like hot pants, even my shoes were tight. are you kidding me? my feet have gotten fat too?!

shame, shame, shame.

living green (is a pain in the ass)

literally.

has anyone else tried the seventh generation toilet paper? in my ongoing effort to go green, i gave the roll a, um, test run, and was left thinking i could have cut out the middle man and wiped my bits with the recycled newspaper it's made from and it would have been a more pleasant experience than using recycled tp. seriously, the dispenser driven single sheet sand paper we had in elementary school was better than this!

i'm all about living green and i'm happy to stick with my environmentally friendly cleaners and products, even when it means sore arms from having to scrub a little bit harder, but when it comes to bog roll, just call me a consumerist pig.

oink. oink.

summertime

... and the living hasn't really been easy since we were fifteen, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't have a fabulous soundtrack to do your thing to. too little time to search out new music, dig thru your old faves and spend hours on track order for summertime mixes? thank yewknee for doing the heavy lifting for you...

otome sophiste is one of the best, breezy, bangin' urban mixes i've ever heard - anywhere. download the podcast and then drag all of the individual tracks into a new playlist for the mix to flow like it should. check out a change in the weather mixed by elastic heart, and summer romance mixed by porkhead. crack open a cold beer, sit back and enjoy!

musings and expectations

i've always had mixed feelings about the new years resolution process. it just strikes me as another way to set ourselves up for failure. just as i believe that valentines day is a ruse (if you have to wait with bated breath for your lover to lavish you with attention on one corporate deemed day of the year, it's high time for some serious reassessment), so is saving up all of your motivation for one day of the year. when a relationship is thriving, you should never want for flowers, champagne, kind words and tokens of affection. those are things that should be incorporated to keep things alive on a regular basis. by the same token, if you're striving to live a balanced life, how can you pull it off in one day? if there's ever really hope for change, it has to be spread out in manageable bits all the year round.

if you haven't already, why not start a new valentines and new years resolution? make them days to check in on yourself. are you doing all you can to be the person you want to be? are you giving (and getting) everything you need to (and from) your relationships? why not? what little steps can you make on a daily basis to effect real change? what can you do NOW that you know you can incorporate into your lifestyle to be the best you, you know you can be?

think about it. keep it simple. make it happen. enough said.

l

as posted dec 2003:

Another year has rolled along and it's been my intention to post my list of New Year resolutions. As if having them out in the ether would somehow help them to manifest. Now that I've had days upon days to ruminate on said resolutions, I realize that I have none. Not a single one. What could that mean? That I've become so enlightened that there is in fact no need to start the new year with a clean slate? That I failed so miserably last year that I have no business starting on a new list? That I've become so complacent that I can't be bothered to think of ways my life could use improvement? Perhaps that I've reached a point where I've come to embrace that which I cannot change, and understanding that which can be changed, is a part of a constant evolution. Not just something to be thought of for the sake of making a list. I think I'll go with the latter. And with that, a list of that which I'd like to see continue to evolve and manifest.

One nod to New Year's Eve - it's high time to stock up on your bubbly! If you're running low, shop early and take advantage of holiday sales to restock your shelves for the New Year.

Cheers, everyone!

1. To live in integrity.
Sounds simple. In reality, not so simple. Contrary to what one may think, this has little to do with telling others the truth and much more to do with not lying to yourself. This, I assure you, is about as challenging as it gets. However, it does still have a great deal to do with being truthful, because let's face it, telling lies for the sake of telling people what they want to hear gets old in a hurry.

2. To be well.
Basically, to take care of myself. The reality is that I've reached a certain age where if you don't, the only person who suffers, is you. Even though I see the same girl I always have in the mirror every morning, now she has a few wrinkles and enough gray hair to warrant some very strategic highlights along with the $150 haircut. That means more yoga. Even the classes twice a week before work I hate to get up for but am always so thankful to have on the days I do. It means not being too lazy to take care of my skin, even when I'm so exhausted I think sleeping in my mascara will give me a leg up on the next morning. And it means knowing when to turn down the third cocktail party of the week because I need the sleep more than I need another martini.

3. To be content.
Another one that sounds simple and obvious. Not so much. I've learned that even when I have everything, it isn't enough. I always thought it was about what I didn't have and striving to fill in the blanks - a better husband, a better career, a nicer car, a better body, another pair of manolos. And quite simply, it's not. It comes from within, not from anyone or anything else, regardless of how much money you have to spend - which is so much easier said than done. It's actually a counter productive process where the more you acquire the more miserable you seem to be. If you're not continually working from the inside out, what's the point? It's about being mindful. Being grateful.

coming soon!

tune in next week ..

• how to: integrate your spanish revival decor with his comic book geek chic (ahem. make that, graphic novel. this CAN be accomplished without bloodshed. honest.)
• the first update on my guerilla search for gainful employment (including the "very attractive" job offer from a business i learned was under sanctions from the ftc, the irs AND the fda.)
• the joys of british cooking (yes! they really do exist!)
  
• why i "just say no" to the marketing of olympic fashions (is that an oxymoron, or is it just me?)
• last but not least: "failure to mount." (no, this is not a commentary on my love life.)

why we're not going out

let's start with the short list, shall we?

1. you live in the 909, 949, 562 or the 661 (you may be able to talk me into why it was a good property investment, but that won't explain why you're actually living there)
2. you want to convince me of why life is better behind the orange curtain
3. you can't stop talking about how much you hate LA (go back to wherever the hell you came from already, really)
4. you have someone else's name tattooed somewhere on your person
5. you're emotionally damaged beyond repair
6. you're verbally (or in any other way) abusive
7. you've attempted suicide (even one time is too many)
8. you're old enough to be my father
9. you're so young i can't help but think of how old someone would have to be, to be my father
10. you want me to pass your script off to someone (i know, it's really good, and i still don't care)
11. you don't find my insatiable nature endearing (i like to think of it as being driven)
12. you're put off by any degree of kink
13. you're so kinky that it puts me off (foot fetishes go here)
14. my girlfriends can't stand you
15. you can't stand my guy friends
16. you're threatened by my friends
17. you're threatened by me
18. i can't bring you out with my colleagues
19. you're not gainfully employed
20. you're an actor (sorry, i don't date talent)
21. you're a picky eater
22. you're a vegetarian/vegan
23. your name is scott
24. your name is peter
25. we have nothing to talk about and conversation borders on the monosyllabic
26. silence makes you uncomfortable
27. your commitment issues are deeper seated than mine
28. i'm taller than you in heels (come on! i'm barely 5'2"!)
29. you've ever thought it was ok to use meth (even if you're in construction)
30. you still think doing coke every weekend is 'recreational'
31. you've had a restraining order taken out against you (even if she was 'asking for it')
32. you never imbibe and/or have never had a drop of booze in your life
33. you imbibe so much that i don't really recognize you when you're not inebriated
34. you're even remotely felonious
35. you're more of a primper than i am
36. you don't primp at all
37. you think an entire closet of one designer's clothes is having style
38. you wear too many earrings
39. you wear really bad, ill fitted, or worn out underwear
40. you never, ever wear underwear
41. you don't appreciate my underwear (or lack thereof)
42. you don't defend my honor (even when we both know i don't need you to)
43. you have a limp handshake
44. i feel like my balls are bigger than yours (this is obviously figurative and not literal)
45. you have no presence or worse yet, you're not present
46. your confidence borders on arrogance
47. you're insecure or otherwise need to have your ego regularly reinflated
48. you're rude to the help
49. you generally don't think to say thank you
50. you're a liar (or any other incarnation of dishonest, including with yourself)
51. you're less motivated than i am
52. you like to sleep the weekends away entirely
53. you never sleep in on sunday and roll out of bed for brunch
54. you need a mommy
55. you routinely butcher the english language (i'll bend a little if you're esl.. everyone knows i have a thing for foreigners ;)
56. your idea of reading is skimming the back of the cereal box
57. you haven't the slightest interest in what i'm reading
58. you never smoke
59. you're a chain smoker/smoke in the house
60. you absolutely hate cats
61. your politics are extreme (to either end of the spectrum)
62. you hate the 80's new wave i listen to in the car
63. you don't get why i like kcrw
64. you don't like to dance (or you expect me to lead)
65. you think my volunteer work is a waste of time
66. you work for me/with me
67. you're married, but really, it's over (i've been you and i'm sooo not interested)
68. you don't watch porn
69. you watch porn that is illegal in most liberal western countries
70. you like to have sex with the lights off
71. you have bad teeth (and you're not british and incredibly hot, sexy, witty and bright)
72. you usually date asian women (and feel the need to reiterate this often)
73. you don't have a car
74. you don't know how to drive a manual
75. you drive a miata (sorry, i won't be able to help making fun of you)
76. you think i should be really impressed by what you drive (unless you think i'm sexy driving aforementioned car, in which case, i have been known to make an exception or two)
77. you're a slow, defensive driver and/or squeamish about my driving
78. you constantly want me to put the top up
79. you can't leave the house without your baseball cap
80. you snore so loud i can't sleep ... even when you're not drunk
81. you have no idea what i mean about energy no matter how many times i explain it
82. you scoff at my yoga practice/running and refuse to even give it a try
83. you can't respect that i really do like to be alone sometimes and it has nothing to do with you
84. you can't understand that i really am a busy girl (if i didn't want to see you, you'd be the first to know)
85. you insist on making plans but cannot keep them to save your life
86. you don't like to travel
87. you have a total inability to be spontaneous
88. you're not into using condoms because you're "clean" or they "don't fit you"
89. you haven't been tested in years because "you know you're clean"
90. you're a bigot or a racist
91. yOuVe eVeR WriTTen LiKe tHiS
92. you don't find any humor in my sarcasm
93. you're gay (worse yet, you don't know it, but i do)
94. i have to explain my humor to the point that it's no longer funny
95. you wear white socks with black trousers
96. you have really bad tattoos (or you hate mine)
97. i love your accent but can't for the life of me understand you
98. you're a scientologist
99. i'm just not that into you

of course, some rules are made to be broken, (wink, wink). bonus points to anyone who can connect the dots and figure out which of these correlates to men i've dated and which one(s) apply to the man i'm living with!

ordinary spirituality

another classic worth posting for the insight of sylvia boorstein.

l

whenever i find myself in the midst of substantial transition or change - or for that matter, feeling a little lost in the world - i often revisit some of my favorite books and authors. naturally, there is some comfort in nostalgia and connecting to the familiar, but moreso, i think it can be grounding to reflect on where you were the last time you picked up a particular tome. especially in contrast to where you are now .. and where you'd like to be.

one of these authors is sylvia boorstein. (if you've not heard of her, she's akin to a wise jewish grandmother who's checked herself into an ashram). the next few lines from one of her books i think will speak to most:

there are some peculiar notions about what constitutes "being spiritual." there is an enormous possibility of getting side-tracked into self conscious holiness, of putting energy into acting the part of a "spiritual person." spiritual living does not need to be a big deal. being a meditator and developing equanimity do not mean becoming weird. sometimes people decide to make a lifestyle change in the service of waking up. some people join communities or religious orders. some people change their diet. some people become celibate. all of those choices are, for some people, very helpful tools for waking up, but they aren't inherently spiritual. at the heart of spirituality is mindfulness. the aware, balanced acceptance of present experience. it's easier than you think.

- sylvia boorstein

if you enjoyed this, you might want to check out Daily Om.

daily dating affirmations

here's another one from the archive. why? because some things bear a little repeating.

l

for the first time in my life, i've caught myself obsessing over a man. something i thought i couldn't possibly be guilty of (because i'm above that and i know better, right?) then i realized, oh my god, i am that woman. on the verge of becoming nearly as bad as all of the single girlfriends i've been chastising over this kind of behaviour for years. i guess it happens to the best of us. that said, it's time to reset the bar of dating dignity.

guys, this should be true for you too. if you're having to guess whether or not she's into you. ask. and if you're still not sure, the odds are, she's not, and you're just wasting time that could be spent on someone who is. like yourself.

1. I will not date a man who isn't sure he wants to date me.
2. I will not date a man who makes me feel undesirable.
3. I will not date a man who cannot do what he says he is going to.
4. I will not date a man I feel I need to "figure out."
5. I will not date a man I have to make excuses for.
6. I will not date a man who is "too busy" for me.
7. I will not date a man I have already rejected.
8. I will not date a man who doesn't know who he is and what he wants.
9. I will not, under any circumstance, spend my precious time on a man who has already rejected me.

... no matter how fabulous he is or how long it's been since i had great sex! now if anything on that list struck a chord and if you haven't read "he's just not that into you," this would be a good time to check out a used copy on Amazon.. ;)

i still love l.a.

to live and die in LA. it probably should have been to love or hate LA. i've said it once, i've said it thrice and i'll say it again - if your distaste for our fabulous town runs that deep, mapquest LAX and go back to wherever it is you came from. the odds are they're missing their village idiot, and despite what it would seem, we're not really suffering a shortage of wait staff on the west side! hopefully you'll enjoy the following blogs from allan weiner and some folks on metroblogging as much as i did. i couldn't have given a better rebuttal myself. word to the wise, allen - when heading to LAX, it's best to take an airport shuttle (about $30) or hire a towncar (about $50). silly man.

l

Why I Hate LA
by Allen Weiner on Fri 03 Feb 2006 09:36 AM MST
I hate LA. I always have, and suspect I always will.

Reasons? The traffic, the smog, the $60/one hour cab ride from the airport, the plastic people, mindless conversations about long work commutes, oddball posers on the street, the pretense and did I mention the traffic? And how can you like a place that recognizes the talent of the Olsen Twins by rewarding them with a Star on the Walk of Fame. And what's there to like about the Dodgers and/or The Lakers?


l

February 03, 2006
Why I Don't Care Why You Hate L.A.
Metroblogger

Allen Weiner hates L.A. I know this because his post "Why I Hate L.A." popped up on the one of the L.A. feeds in my RSS reader this morning and caught my eye. I took the time to post a response to what I found to be a lackluster, empty rant, but strangely (and by strangely I mean "stupidly") my comment magically disappeared right after the author logged in around 2:00MST. While what I had to say wasn't complimentary, I wouldn't say it was anti-intellectual or pointless. From memory, it was something along the lines of...

Boy, that sure is a controversial stance you've taken there, complaining about the traffic and all the fake people. I've never heard that before. To borrow a phrase, you are what you eat. Nothing like journos and insiders that surround themselves exclusively with Silverlake hipsters or industry Westsiders and then complain about how shallow everybody is.
Wake me up when you've got an interesting analysis to share, instead of just masturbatory troll-bait.

Since I'm on the subject, and since Mr. Weiner has prevented any of us from continuing the conversation in the comments on his site, allow me to expand. To all of you who constantly complain about how shitty L.A. is, let me say this....I don't fucking care. I've heard these same four or five arguments a million times. You think everybody is shallow and fake? I've got a couple of hundred hard working, down-to-earth, working-class neighbors that spend their days staffing your gas stations and your hotels and your restaurants and your hospitals that would take great umbrage at your boneheaded attempt to paint 12 million people with one brush just because you've never been east of downtown except to drive to Vegas.

In fact, I'm glad all of you hate L.A. Do the rest of us a favor and move back to San Francisco or New York and leave this huge, awesome, multi-faceted city to those of us that are willing to take the time to appreciate it. I have a sneaking suspicion that you're going to find something to complain about anywhere you end up.

ADDENDUM: hexod.us adds brings up another good point in the comments that I forgot I wanted to mention, though I alluded to it a bit. Los Angeles is not Hollywood. If you want to bitch about Hollywood, fine. But be smart enough to know the difference.

l

check out the original post here.

and while we're on the subject of the city, this little link is fabulous - even for a native like me. an exhaustive list of LA neighborhoods from Wikipedia.

do you live in silver lake or sunset junction? echo park or pico-union? beverly glen, beverly crest or beverlywood? this growing list of neighborhoods in LA on Wikipedia might help you figure it out. who knew there were that many? i stopped counting around 974.

where you at? check yourself. you may be surprised. i'm still trying to figure out where irwindale is. maybe it's its own city? if you know, let me know. enlighten me!

enter the minx

i haven't the slightest what i'm doing here just yet. i can't be bothered to maintain the blog i've already got going, yet here i am dabbling with another. i'll have to sleep on that one and get back to you.